15 Second Hugs

  1. I’ve been very busy learning the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s 1989 album. I know I am super late to this party, but at least I showed up. One of the many things I enjoy about my new car is the stereo, it’s by far the nicest stereo I’ve ever had in any car. Including the boom box that used to sit next to me when I drove the 1977 yellow Toyota pickup truck lovingly nicknamed, The Yellow Enchilada. One of my favorite things to do is to blast the stereo and scream, I mean sing, along to whatever I’m playing. Lately it’s been Taylor Swift, but when I run my usual Friday errands it’s the following 5 songs: 1. Empire State of Mind 2. Come Pick Me Up 3. Could It Be I’m Falling In Love 4. Rolling In The Deep by Aretha Franklin 5. It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay

2. On June 18th, Andy and I will have lived together for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. As with plenty of relationships, we were extremely affectionate in the beginning. We were even cocky about how affectionate we were and when we noticed other couples who were less affectionate, we pittied them and their lack of affection. We said we would never become one of those couples who didn’t hold hands and sit close and cuddle, etc. Then we lived together for twenty-five years and you may have guessed that things changed. We definitely do not hold hands very often because it’s just not always comfortable or convenient and sometimes whole days can pass where we barely touch each other. I wasn’t exactly bothered by these changes, because I think it’s a very normal thing to happen over many years, but I did think it would be good for our marriage if we made the effort to be more affectionate. I decided to do a little experiment. I made sure that we hugged for 15 seconds, two times a day. I wondered if it would change our moods, how patient we were with each other and if it would make us even more affectionate with each other. I started this 2 weeks ago and immediately I noticed a difference. Those hugs definitely meant we were making the effort to touch more frequently. Within a few days, we were lingering over conversations with each other and making more jokes. By the end of the first week, we were absolutely more patient with each other and both of us were making the point to say how appreciative we were of the other one. Mid-way through week 2, we spontaneously hugged more often and both of us were doing more small, nice things for each other. I’m not surprised by these results of my experiment, but I am pleased by them.

  1. Tomorrow is the 5th grade tea party in my mom’s classroom. I haven’t been in the classroom since February! That’s my longest absence since Murray was a brand new baby puppy. My mom is probably going to retire next year, so I’m preparing myself for next school year being a year of “lasts.” I’m really excited for my mom, but I will miss going to her classroom.

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